Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston give Mike Tyson a run for his money in the “Jack up your life in the 90s contest”. Chalky lips and all, these two were the poster children for what you don’t want your kids to become when they grow up. What was most ironic was that everyone thought that Bobby was corrupting Whitney, who does an amazing “church girl with the raspy voice” imitation. But church girls don’t usually know that “crack is whack”, and they don’t get caught hauling weed onto an airplane. Well, at least she didn’t have box cutters and shaving cream; people who smoke weed don’t usually have the motivation to hijack an airplane.

They were once young and attractive, now they look old and tired. They were once beautiful songbirds, now they just look like jailbirds. Life is getting harsh for these two, and it could get harsher as the “King of R&B” (haha) and his weed-tottin ex-babymama find themselves on the other side of a nasty divorce.

Besides learning that crack is whack, we can learn other lessons from Whitney’s confessions. Drugs and bad relationships have huge personal and financial consequences. As a Finance Professor who teaches students Personal Finance on a regular basis, I thought I would “peep game” and take a quick visit to the Bobby-Whitney School of Life to see what we can all learn from their experience:

Lesson 1: Watch who you decide to marry

The wrong partner may not only ruin you financially, they can also take away other valuable assets beyond money, such as your reputation, well-being and peace of mind. As young as they think they are, their latest pictures show skin of leather and more wrinkles than a wet Barbara Bush. These two people spent the best years of their lives with someone that they may not have wanted to be with. That’s more painful than losing cash.

Lesson 2: Determine if your partner has a financial venereal disease

I created a test for the Financial Irresponsibility Virus (FIV). If you or your partner has a positive score, you are FIV positive. Destructive financial habits such as drugs or alcohol make it very easy to become FIV positive. I am not one to say that the drug rumors are true. But if there were drugs in this relationship, that is a quick way to end up in the poor house.

Lesson 3: Size does matter (meaning the size of your partner’s bank account) – but too much size can be a pain

Some people are excited to have a mate who is well-endowed (financially), but sometimes you are rewarded on the front end but punished on the back. All that extra bling in their account can dull the shine on your smile when you get out of bed every morning. Your partner should make you wealthy in many ways, not just financially.

Lesson 4: Don’t spend your time with an enabler of your financially destructive habits.

If you overeat, overspend, or gamble too much, then it might not make sense to “hook up” with someone who does the same thing. You might be as happy as two pigs in a mud puddle, but when the piper comes to collect payment, the payment will be eternal. Find someone who complements you and improves you, not someone who accentuates the parts of you that happen to be most destructive.

Bobby and Whitney have performed a valuable service. By watching them jack up their lives, it has reminded me that my life is not so bad. Perhaps one day, Bobby will rise back to the top of the charts, and Whitney will once again be cranking out number one hits. Yeah, you’re right. Even I thought that last line was funny.